i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
Randomize
