he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
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