It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
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