I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
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