he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
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