why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
Randomize
