Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
Imagine two people making love on top of a unicorn . . . my life is the opposite of that.
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
Randomize
