I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
Randomize