I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
True strength comes from lack of pants
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