yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
The adults are the big ones right?
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
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