We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
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