his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
Randomize
