i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
Randomize
