I can tuck mytits in my pants
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
I have tasted many bathrooms
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
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