My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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