I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
Randomize
