I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
Randomize
