2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
Randomize
