it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
This is the high leading the old right now
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
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