She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
