I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
Randomize
