I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
There's always time for handjobs
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
Randomize
