Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
Liz is crying about burritos again.
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
Randomize
