i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
Randomize
