Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
she smelled like a LAN party
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
Randomize
