dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
God, you're like boner-b-gone
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
