Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
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