i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
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