piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
My first STD was from a foam party
I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
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