no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
When the vodka monkeys are playing a drum solo in my skull tomorrow, remind me I tried to sterilize my body from the inside with titos
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
Randomize
