What did we do last night that was yellow?
my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
Randomize
