Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
Randomize
