Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
Randomize
