I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
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