so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
