i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
Randomize
