Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Randomize
