When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
Naked Twister starts at high noon
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
I just sucked dick on a ferry
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
Randomize