i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
So I was throwing up in this fancy toilet at a party last night, when he decided it would be funny to flush it. It was a beday. I had to walk out with toilet water and regurgitated rumpleminze all over my face and shirt.
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
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