Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
Randomize
