Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
Randomize
