i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
Randomize