I wanna bring you to show and tell
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
Randomize
