Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
Randomize