I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
handjob tips. give me some.
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
I'm like, not good at living.
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
Randomize