I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
