in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
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