Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
Randomize
