WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Randomize
