Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
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