Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
Randomize
