So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
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