real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
Fuck appropriateness.
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
Randomize
