Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
