If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
Randomize
