i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
Even the bartender felt bad for me
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
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