Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
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