Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Randomize
