Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
Dicks are not precious.
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
dude. I can hear the air.
Randomize
