her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
I wish Morgan Freeman narrated my life.
oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
Randomize
