Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
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