So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
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