He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
Randomize
