I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
Randomize